75,000 miles and countless epic adventures together, and tonight was the night I said goodbye to my beloved Subaru Forrester.  After one final road trip of course…

I didn’t want to get rid of it, not even a little bit… but I already have my van, and it seems silly (and expensive) to pay for two vehicles and double insurance if I don’t have to.

Some of my best adventures to date involved that car- countless memories.  Not all were pleasant (there was that time the engine ruined my life, and I had to drop almost $10,000 for repairs that should have been covered by warranty but alas, were not).  That’s any relationship I suppose- a combination of both awesome experiences and difficult times, building a collection of unforgettable moments.

Thoughts of keeping the Subaru for when I’m “done” with van life certainly crossed my mind- refinance for a lower payment, and storing it at my parent’s house for future use.  Or perhaps keeping it for just a bit longer, giving me time to ensure the van is reliable and fully drivable prior to committing to one vehicle.

After some deep thinking, I decided that I have to fully commit to this plan (my van plan to be specific) in order to make it happen.  Letting go of the Subaru was more than just saying goodbye to a chapter of my life- it was taking a leap into the upcoming chapter as well.  The next chapter is always scary: it’s unknown, it’s new, it’s unlimited potential tinged with a bunch of terrifying “what ifs”.  In order to make the next step forward, I can’t continue to hold on to what is staying behind.  It just doesn’t work like that.

I’m beginning to understand that letting go is more about gaining something new, and less about losing what you had.

One step closer.