My Why

Several years ago, I was browsing the internet at work (oops, maybe I shouldn’t admit that), and stumbled across some pictures of camper vans.  I was immediately intrigued- obsessed actually- and determined that this was what I wanted to do with my life.  Buy a van, convert it, and travel around the country while having epic experiences along the way.  It was the perfect plan for me, and the excitement was real!

Then, I talked myself out of it.  “It’s irresponsible.  It’s not possible.  You wouldn’t be able to do it, to afford it, there’s just no way.”  Over the next few years this idea, the ‘van plan’, would pop into my mind every so often, just to once again be suppressed and dismissed by that annoying part of my brain that thought it was doing future me a favor by being “logical”.  Oh logic, why must you cripple our imaginations so ruthlessly?  Monday, June 25th 2018, something changed (yes, I wrote down the exact day, it was that important to me).  There was no monumental moment or dramatic life-altering experience that invoked the change, but once again the van plan drifted into my thoughts… and this time, instead of talking myself out of it, I simply thought “hmm, YEAH, I’m going to do that”.  So from that point on, I was committed.

I’m currently living full time in my van (which I converted this spring with the extensive help of my dad), and traveling around North America by myself.  I have a tentative route in mind, along with an ever-growing list of places I want to visit and explore.  My overall vague goal with this trip is to do a year on the road, seeing and experiencing as much as I can along the way.  Hike mountains, jump in lakes, catch every sunrise and sunset possible, get lost in the Milky Way on starry nights, all the good stuff.  In the back of my mind I’m also hoping to learn and grow a lot personally throughout these adventures- meeting new people with different perspectives, having new ideas and inspirations thrown at me,  pushing my limits a bit physically and mentally, while learning all sorts of important life lessons along the way. When this trip ends (because at some point I am going to need to return to working, funds are already a struggle as it is), I’d really like to have a strong idea of either a job I want to pursue with passion, or an area that I feel drawn to live in.  Some sort of clear path, you know?

The truth is, I really don’t know what I’m doing- not clearly enough to put into concise words at least.  I’m just pursuing what feels like the right thing for me at the moment, and more importantly, what makes me happy.  This trip may end and leave me with more questions than answers, further lost in the realm of wanting to do ‘more’ with my life while simultaneously struggling to determine what I can do to ensure I continue living intentionally and to the fullest.  What if I don’t figure IT out- whatever ‘IT’ is even?  Well, then I’ll be blessed with a ton of exploits to remember fondly, and hopefully be a changed person (for the better).  In the back of my mind I’m already suspecting that the journey itself is the most important and life-altering part anyways- time will tell.